143889
Joke of the Day
"My dad told me his New Years resolution was to embrace his mistakes. He hugged my sister and I :("
Next Joke
"Wanna hear a joke?? Okay here goes, My ex-wife still misses me! BUT HE AIM IS GETTING BETTER! HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER! You see it's funny because marriage is terrible.-Stanley pines 2012"
"Ok doc, give it to me straight. ""It's cancer"" How bad? ""Really bad, you have 2 months."" OMG ""APRIL FOOLS!"" Whew- ""You have 2 days."""
"Politics is just show business for ugly people."
"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Aaahh ahhh cough cough"
"Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips."
"Why does Steve Irwin hate sunblock? It doesn't protect from harmful rays"
"So weird that before we invented cars, if you hated someone you keyed their horse."
"There are too many people who could ruin my life by posting a screenshot of a text conversation we've had."
"A man and woman are riding up in an elevator. The man looks at the woman and says ""Can I smell your pussy?"" She replies ""Hell no!"" The man says ""Well it must be your feet then."""