25953

Joke of the Day

"""Hey, Cyclops."" ""Hey, Cyclops, are you still dating Jean?"" ""No, Storm, we broke up. You could say she's my..."" *lowers sunglasses* *eye beams obliterate Storm*"

"Why did the pig go in the kitchen? To start some bacon"

"A hipster is given a cookery award, but dies before he can receive it... It was posthummus."

"What do horses drink at the bar? Chardon-neigh"

"Why did Sally fall of the swingset? She had no arms. BONUS JOKE: Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally."

"How do you know that Beyonce is a hardcore programmer? VB ALL NIGHT!!!!!"

"Oscar Wilde: Always be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. Liam Neeson: I will find them. Wilde: Wait, I meant- Neeson: EVERYONE"

"I hurt my shoulder and doctor told me i shouldn't lift anything heavy. So i'm forced to sit down when i pee."

"You know you've seen too many walking dead episodes when your hand gets stung by a bee and you start screaming for everyone to cut it off"

"If the Powerball has taught me anything, it's how to turn $200 into $4."