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Joke of the Day

"Dude's trunk just popped open in front of me on the expressway ramp. I instinctively looked to see if any of you were in there."

"What was Bruce Lee's favorite drink? Waattaaah!"

"How to stop, drop and roll if you are drunk. If you're drunk, it's not called the stop, drop and roll. It's called the stop, drop and stop rolling around so your drunk friend can piss on you."

"I would never feed you to the wolves. You're too toxic and I like dogs."

"Your date leans in and whispers ""I'm not wearing panties."" You shiver. She continues: ""I pooped a little and had to throw them away."""

"Toilet stolen from police station Cops have nothing to go on."

"The toilet at a police station was stolen! They had nothing to go on.."

"If your partner asks, ""Do you love your phone more than you love me?"" Lie."

"Every time I go to get an HIV test, I'm convinced it's going to come back positive And every time, I'm right."

"Errors have been made. Others will be blamed."