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Joke of the Day

"Today is full of possibilities and I have a strong feeling none of them are mine."

"Nothing can destroy your good opinion of a company quicker than working for them."

"If life gives you melons. You're probably dyslexic."

"What did they tell the most famous child actress from the 30's when she tried to audition for a role in Harry Potter? Shirley you can't be Sirius."

"Tell a woman she has cute kids and she's all proud. Whisper it to her and she calls the cops."

"It must be cold today Because I just saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets"

"I like TV, I was watching Blue Peter today He's my neighbour with a heart condition who was walking his dog. I asked why he didn't have a pacemaker. He replied ""I can't even keep up with my dog""..."

"Heard this one from WWE. Were you born on the highway? No, why? Because that's where most accidents happen!"

"What's the difference between Santa and a pimp ? Santa has just 3 Ho's..."

"Chuck Norris' prostate has eaten dozens of doctor's middle fingers."