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Joke of the Day

"Nothing can destroy your good opinion of a company quicker than working for them."

"One day I hope to watch a cable show that says ""Brought to you by.. The bill you pay every fucking month."""

"I tried on a parachute at an extreme sports retailer the other day, and asked my girlfriend how I looked. ""It suits you down to the ground"", she said."

"The treadmill is the only product we have that the 'The Jetsons' had, I'm very disappointed at how far behind be are."

"I once met a woman with wooden breast implants This joke would be funny with a punchline, wouldn't it?"

"I ate something evil and it's killing me... I don't know whether to get an ex-lax or an exorcist"

"My girlfriend's father is pretty religious and said we couldn't make love... which is rather disappointing because he's extremely handsome."

"Being a grown up is throwing something at the trash can, missing, then actually going over and picking it back up."

"This will be my first valentines with a girlfriend. Anyone have any ideas to help make it great? I'm 17, can drive and have a source of income. I would really like to make this one good."

"Me: But babe, my doctor said I can't have sex after giving birth. Babe: She's 11.."