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Joke of the Day

"Why is the area between the boobs and the ass called the 'waist?' Because you could easily fit two more boobs down there."

"What do you call movie night at Bill Cosby's house? Netflix and pill"

"[looking at wife as firefighters cut me out of baby swing at playground] It doesn't say its specifically for babies, Karen"

"How do cows measure time? In mooments"

"I hate to say ""I told you so"", so Im going to sing it."

"Why do Televisions have buttons? because they cant have zippers"

"What do you call a prisoner who's psychic,has dwarfism and escaped the prison? A small medium at large!"

"Yo mama so fat.... pickup lines don't work on her."

"Whats a pirates favourite letter??? Youd think itd be rrrrr but tis the sea."

"The worst part of quitting drinking is how few excuses you have for your behavior"