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Joke of the Day

"You only miss something when you notices something is gone... Only now I realise how many words requires the letter W because my keyboard can't type 'W'."

"Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?"

"Bough some shoes from my drug dealer. They were pretty nice"

"Next time you prematurely ejaculate Just remember you probably still lasted longer than Ronda Rousey"

"""Doctor, I have an embarrassing medical problem..."" NSFW Well, what is it?"" asks the doctor. ""I have five penises."" ""Five penises!,"" exclaims the doctor, ""How does your underwear fit?"" ""Like a glove!"""

"If you were antipencil, would you be erasist?"

"""Give me your Vitamin Water and your organic gluten-free cookies unless there's peanuts in them because I'm allergic."" - 2012 school bully"

"I just walked by an old man who kept saying, ""One, three, five, seven, nine... one, three, five, seven, nine..."" I thought, ""How odd."""

"I have to be honest, I prefer the modern 8 bit byte to the older 7 bit byte I like big bytes and I cannot lie."

"I met a girl at a club last night and she told me she'd show me a good time. When we got outside, she ran 100m in 9.69 seconds."