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Joke of the Day

"Dear Americans: It's called snow. It's cold and wet, but can't hurt you from inside the house. It has no opposable thumbs. #AskCanada"

"where are opie and anthony from? ethiopia"

"Buddy, If you get in a fight with me there'll only be 2 ""hits""; You hitting me and my screams of pain hitting 100 decibels."

"If I want to nap for just an hour, I have a big glass of water beforehand. Alarms can be turned off, but a full bladder waits for no one."

"The guy in the next urinal peed so hard that a little got on me and I thought ""damn this dude is good at peeing"""

"Why do programmers produce more garbage than others ? Because they (some of them) don't have a garbage collector."

"Somewhere, a real Nigerian prince is sitting at his computer wondering, ""Why oh why does nobody reply to my emails?"""

"In my family i'm the youngest of three. My parents are both older -Stewart Francis"

"A real ""nonstop flight"" would be terrifying."

"What word becomes shorter when you add two letters? Short."