201355

Joke of the Day

"""Daddy, am I going to die someday?"" ""No, you're the only immortal being in the entire world. Goodnight, stupid."""

"When her friend visits, my 2yr old just wants to hug her a lot... & keep her away from the toys. I feel that way about my friends & my vodka"

"Of course he's going to get re-elected, because once you go Black..."

"How do we know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment."

"<joke> ""Punchline"" is not an internal or external command. Attempting a continue... C:\Windows\System32\ taskkill /IM joke.exe </joke>"

"Deer nuts and beer nuts What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are a buck fifty and deer nuts are under a buck."

"How do you dispose of a human body Wait this isn't Google"

"Do you know whats black on the bottom and white on top? Society"

"I'm confused. Celebrity comedians are paid millions of dollars... Yet the funniest people on the internet are janitors and stay-at-home moms."

"How To Impress Your Boss 1. Show up early. 2. Have all the tools you need. 3. Read the strategy guide. 4. Aim for the big glowing weak spot (usually the eyes)."