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Joke of the Day

"What is Dracula's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines."

"Q: Why did the suspenders get arrested? A: Because they held up a pair of pants."

"My girlfriend always asks me to text her when I get in... That's how small my cock really is."

"My vacuum cleaner is so good it collects dust even when I don't use it."

"IMAGINE if twitter, facebook, and msn all broke at the same time. we might have to actually get lives."

"Me: ""I can't turn on the shower"" Plumber: ""It's seen you naked so often the excitement's gone. Try dressing up"" *Hands over shower cap*"

"Why do they call camels 'ships of the desert'? Because they are full of Arab semen."

"Jeopardy is petty. If you asked someone ""What is snow?"" No one would say: It's doubtful an Eskimo would have Chionophobia, a fear of this."

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a rubber band Why don't you stretch yourself out on the couch there and tell me all about it!"

"What was the vegan craving when he got bit by a zombie? GRRRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNNSSSS"