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Joke of the Day

"Dear algebra, Stop telling us to find your x, she's never coming back. Don't ask y. Sincerely, PB1541"

"Why did the mexican push his wife off the cliff? Because he wants tequila. Literally."

"What did Michael J. Fox's dad say when Michael J. Fox tried to parallel park? ""Watch the Parking son."""

"A Georgia State Trooper pulls over a car. He says... ...to the driver, ""Got any ID?"" The driver says, ""'Bout what?"""

"What do you call a homeless man who trashes food you give him then says he only accepts cash? A rootabaga."

"What doesn't kill you just makes you injured and really pissed off."

"My phone autocorrects 'sex' into 'pez' in case you were wondering just how dead my pez life is."

"""Oh, don't use that picture of me, honey. Please, I look so old in that one. You must have a better picture."" -Whistler's Mother"

"Cop: do you know why I pulled you over? Me: No idea, I'm not black."

"What is the most independent kind of cheese? Prov alone."