95095

Joke of the Day

"What did Michael J. Fox's dad say when Michael J. Fox tried to parallel park? ""Watch the Parking son."""

"Why did the pickle stop being a contortionist? It was to cucumbersome."

"I think it's pretty cool Chinese people made a language made entirely out of tattoos."

"Whenever I'm down in the dumps, I get myself new clothes. They smell a little bit but at least they're free."

"Opening a Christian gym called 'Jehovah's Fitness'"

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT! WHY THE F*CK WOULD SOMEBODY BREAK INTO A HOUSE JUST TO STEAL A REMOTE CON-Never mind, I found it."

"Going to McDonalds for a salad roll is like going to a brothel for a hug."

"There's no ""I"" in meat, but there's ""me"" and ""eat"", and I don't know how vegans can argue with that logic."

"What did the Spanish boy leaving for the city say to his father? Ciudad!"

"Dance till you feel hurt. Sing till your lungs hurt. Act till you're William Hurt. - Phil Dunphy From Phil's Osophies (Modern Family). I have to get that book."