2521

Joke of the Day

"I think back to all the times I've masturbated up until now... ...its just nice to know how far I've cum."

"How do you beat the Islanders? Give 'em a 3 goal lead"

"A clown walks into a strip club and says... Someone throw a pie in my face!"

"1890 How can you tell someone is a vegan, cross fitter, or an atheist? (alt) Make a joke about them, and then they'll get real offended."

"The sign outside the drug rehab facility was very fitting ""Stay off the grass."""

"Me: *opens door* Yes? Him: Hi. Can I have a minute of your time to talk to you about The Lord? Me: ..Of The Rings? Him: Uh No.. *door slam*"

"I was going to join the debating team in high school, but someone talked me out of it."

"Why should you know who is the bride at an Irish wedding? Because that's the one you're *not* allowed to punch in the face."

"Why are Trump supporters *not* Nazis? When Nazis demanded your papers, they said ""please."""

"My neighbor said his dog was impregnated by my dog Django. I said ""No way, bro."" ""The 'D' is silent"""