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Joke of the Day

"The sign outside the drug rehab facility was very fitting ""Stay off the grass."""

"I had abstinence-only sex education when I was in high school. It was called Dungeons and Dragons."

"Have you ever heard about Mothers Against Drunk Driving's lesser known sister organization ""Fathers Against Drunk Driving""? Probably not, it didn't last very long, it was only a fad."

"I'm so glad I found Twitter...I finally have a rock solid Alibi for my Google Search History!"

"An Irishman walks out of a bar. Edit: For clarification, that's the joke."

"I've reached the most difficult moment in parenting: explaining to my son why the first Star Wars movie is Episode 4."

"Neighbor: Help I have a plumbing emergency! Me: *grabs tools* Neighbor is naked and wet Me: um what kind of plumbing are we talking about?"

"How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it! How do you catch a tame rabbit? The tame way. All thanks go to my father, I'll show myself out."

"I call my Asian friend Spongebob Because he's yellow and can't drive"

"""It's the holidays"" *eats a pizza* ""It's the holidays"" *eats 3 cheeseburgers* ""It's the holidays"" *eats my food, your food & a small baby*"