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Joke of the Day

"""Careful, there's poop on the dance floor."" - how ballet was invented."

"everytime pitbull performs i get scared because i probably know the words from drunken bar nights"

"Where does a tugboat go when it feels sick? To the Dock"

"Ever look in a mirror wondering about the stranger staring back & then realize it's your neighbor's window and they're calling the cops?"

"Only in America: We have a holiday devoted to gratitude & then less than 12 hrs later beat the shit out of each other for a $10 crockpot."

"The popularity of origami has increased ten fold."

"What is the difference between falling from the 2nd floor and the 20th floor? The 2nd floor: (SPLAT) AAAAAaaaaaaaagggghhhhhhhhhhh...... The 20th floor: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! (SPLAT)"

"What did one calculator say to the other when it was time for it to leave? Aight I'll calcu-lata"

"What do you call a hobo who becomes a pimp? Rags to bitches"

"I think my parents should have named me Winter So that every time I'm having sex with my girlfriend, I could shout 'Brace yourselves! Winter is coming!'"