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Joke of the Day
"Tampax needs to extend the string to 2ft so I can hang myself with it every month."
Next Joke
"Eschew pretentious poses. The boy who farted laughing gas, eschewed pretentious poses. He thought those who called him vulgar, had boogers in their noses."
"If Captain America's shield is vibranium, then... Hawkeye's shield is Quicksilver"
"What's the difference between England and a cup of tea? The teabag stays in the cup longer."
"I figure I must be Bi-sexual. I have sex twice a year."
"Why did the blonde become a big basketball fan? Because every time they stopped the clock, she thought that she had stopped aging."
"A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, ""Do you have any last requests?"" ""Yes,"" replies the murderer. ""Can you please hold my hand?"""
"One in every two and half men are HIV positive. Donate today red.org #tigerblood #WINNING"
"My ex girlfriend.."
"*Now with 50 percent less fat* Me: ooooh *buys two*"