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Joke of the Day

"My mother in law called me today and said? ""Come quick. I think I'm dying"" I said, ""Call me back when you're sure""."

"I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions."

"You say ""my ex is stuck under the back end of your vehicle"" like its a bad thing."

"Q.Why is a dog scared of a fire? A.It doesn't want to become a hot dog."

"A bold move... **move**"

"How can you tell when an accountant is extroverted? He looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own."

"The difference between a Life Scout and an Eagle Scout. A Life Scout is ready for anything. The Eagle Scout is ready for Murphy's Law."

"Why do Java programmers wear glasses? because they can't C#"

"The Credible Hulk. ""You won't like me when I'm angry because I always back up my rage with facts and documented sources."""

"This homeless guy asked me for money, I was like ""I don't think so, not with that ugly voice"""