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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a stuck up slut? Cuntseeded"

"I can tell within seconds of meeting someone if they'd be annoying on a group email."

"Why are organic farmers the best hip hop artists? Because they make the best beets."

"Dropped mother-in-law at airport. Her flight isn't until Tuesday, but with security and all, best to play it safe."

"Buying yourself an Uber gift card is ironic. Cause it's a free ride when you've already paid."

"*addresses the elephant in the room* *puts a stamp on the elephant in the room* ""My pen pal is gonna love this."""

"If I get nervous for a date, I just imagine the guy in his underpants, sitting on my couch for the next 40 years, & suddenly I'm annoyed"

"How do you know if a pepper is being nosy? When he's jalapeno business!"

"Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times? I tried that with my dishwasher and she ended up pregnant."

"What's brown and rhymes with Snoop Dr. Dre"