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Joke of the Day

"Divorces should just be reverse weddings where you get pushed out of a church while your friends steal appliances from your home."

"So the power went out during the Superbowl (Texans Joke) Better get J.J Watt!"

"What about the man with nobody and no nose? Nobody knows..."

"Hitler pun ""Sir, we're mining too many useless minerals."" Hitler: ""So mine less."" Grammar Nazi busts in. ""MINE FEWER."" (Hitler looks up) ""Yes?"""

"I wonder if Radio Shack ever thinks about changing the name, you know now that it's 2011 and all."

"Yesterday I raped a deaf-mute girl... ...I ve broken her arms so she couldn t tell anyone."

"Why are Gametes good at marketing? Sex cells!"

"If you pull a lizard's tail off, it will grow back. If you pull it off again, the lizard will be like ""dude."""

"Time is what keeps things from happening all at once. "

"My wife is divorcing me, apparently she is sick of all my flower puns... I asked her ""Where's this stemming from petal?"""