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Joke of the Day

"Freudian Slip... I got divorced over a Freudian slip. I meant to say, ""Please pass the salt"" but I said, ""You rotten bitch, you ruined my life."" (I think that's a Jackie Mason joke)"

"When I see someone pushing a dog in a stroller I understand why the news is filled with murder."

"What's the difference between a feminist and a spear... A spear has a point"

"SMS codes for seniors: BTW - Bring the Wheelchair FWIW - Forgot Where I Was LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out WTFA - Wet the Furniture Again"

"When she found out he worked in technical support, it really turned her on. Then he turned her off. Then he turned her on again."

"[re-enacting the lift scene from Dirty Dancing] ""come to me baby, and jump, and oops... You landed in my mouth again! You silly gummy bear."""

"Who Is every lumberjack's favourite director? TIMBURRRTON!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Korea's missiles can't reach that far."

"What travels down an alley and has holes in it? A bowling ball. Or Bruce Wayne's parents."

"Nothing brings a family closer at graduation than a flask."