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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippy? Because he was too far out... (dude)."

"How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles"

"What has wings a long tail and wears a bow? A birthday pheasant!"

"I just got back from a bulimic disco The place was heaving!"

"Me: you can't just be pretty. You have to be smart too! 8: But mom, you're pretty. Me: Awe thank......wait what?"

"'Brexit' to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovakout. Latervia. Byegium."

"Have you seen the new movie, ""Constipation""? It may not have come out yet."

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands"

"Men need to stop staring and yelling at me when I wear yoga pants. I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for me, because it's comfortable... Who cares if you can see my balls?"

"What do you call a bear that swings both ways? Bi-polar"