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Joke of the Day

"I'm gonna pretend my dad didn't abandon me but is actually on the missing Malaysia air flight and he'll be back"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None because feminists can't change anything."

"Why is Tigger always dirty? Because he plays with Pooh"

"I've never seen more than 600 dollars worth of cars in a 7-Eleven parking lot."

"What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare-line."

"Did you hear about the janitor who lost his job at the sperm bank? [dirty] He was caught drinking on the job..."

"You say lasagna. I say spaghetti cake. Because my 3 year old won't eat lasagna."

"I never admit or deny anything it makes things more interesting."

"I'm trying to get on your good side, but I haven't found it yet."

"hate how my phone sometimes autocorrects haha to hahahahaha. im trying to end a conversation not laugh harder than i ever have in my life."