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Joke of the Day

"hate how my phone sometimes autocorrects haha to hahahahaha. im trying to end a conversation not laugh harder than i ever have in my life."

"I would rather text someone for a hundred hours than have to spend one second talking to them on the phone."

"What's dumber than a box of rocks? The hippie carrying it. What's dumber than that? The yuppie buying it. What's dumber than that? The box of rocks"

"What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck"

"Why doesn't a chicken coop have four doors? Because if it did it would be a chicken sedan."

"It's cute that you think everyone is jealous of you. We actually just don't like you."

"What did the male and female skeletons do to pass the time? (NSFW) They Boned!"

"Q: What do you get when you cross a perm with a rabbit? A: Curly hare."

"Young Actor: Dad guess what? I've just got my first part in a play. I play the part of a man who's been married for 30 years. Father: Well keep at it son. Maybe one day you'll get a speaking part."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when put in the oven."