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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a longshoreman who only unloads sugar substitutes? A steviadore."

"There was a First Sergeant in the Army who didn't want to get a promotion.... ...Now he has a major problem."

"Born too late to explore the earth, born too early to explore the Galaxy... ...born too ugly to explore a woman."

"If someone holds eye contact with you for longer than 3 seconds, make sure you urinate to establish dominance"

"I saw a chameleon today... ...guess it was a pretty shitty chameleon. *I submitted this joke a few years ago, I'm reposting myself (which was originally also a repost)*"

"Two peanuts were walking down the street one was assaulted."

"You know what Nixon did wrong? He only broke into the watergate hotel once. He should have done it everyday. Then it would have been normal. Yes, you got it, jokes on you."

"Joke of the week... /r/leagueoflegends Lmow"

"Why Adolf Hitler is a bank robber? Because he is a Dollar Thief."

"How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb? Just one provided there's a programmer around to explain how to do it."