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Joke of the Day
"You know you do too much online shopping when your kids start drawing pictures for the UPS man."
Next Joke
"Wife: Nothing you could say could convince me that cockroaches aren't the worst. Me: Wall-E's friend was a cockroach. Wife: Except that."
"Girl, you can call me RNA II Polymerase ... ...cuz I'm gonna unzip your genes"
"I was a trampoline salesman Off and on."
"My Gpa said... My Grandpa said, ""Your generation relies too much on technology!"" I replied, ""No, your generation relies too much on technology!"" Then I unplugged his life support."
"My relationship with my Ex was very psychological...she's psycho and I'm logical."
"What is the fastest cake in the world? Scone."
"Whoever's job it is to make sure I eat before I drink is fired."
"My friend said he was worried he had HIV. I said think about the positives."
"A dead battery walks into a bar,and asks for the price of a pint of beer. The barman responds, ""For you, sir, no charge."""