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Joke of the Day

"The best things in life require no pants."

"Horrible Dubstep Joke Why couldn't the Dubstep artist be a chemist? He couldn't stop dropping the base!"

"If i were a hand model, at least i could say that i've banged a model."

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee *before* it was cool."

"My army buddy was jerking off one night. He was discharged by dawn."

"Whats the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has pricks on the outside."

"I got a gun for my wife today. It was the best trade I ever made."

"I'll do a lot of things for money, but I draw the line at working..."

"Today Donald Trump renewed his talk about surveillance on Mosques, gun control and adding alligators to FBI No Fly lists."

"I just killed a huge spider crawling along the floor with my shoe. I don't care how big a spider is, nobody steals my fucking shoe."