24643

Joke of the Day

"*Action movie guy gets shot 3 times* It's nothing, I'll be fine. *gets shot a 4th time* Wow ok, that last one, ok whoooooo."

"What do you call people who use the pull out method? Parents"

"Saw a really stunning cute girl in Thailand on the bus, couldn't stop looking. I thought ""please don't get a boner, please don't get a boner..."" But she did."

"If guns don't kill people.... If guns don't kill people, people kill people, then toasters don't toast toast. Toast toasts toast."

"""exorcise"" and ""exercise"" sound alike because they're both the work of the Devil"

"Hacking is like gay sex... you enter a backdoor hoping there are no logs."

"Whoever decided to use pantyhose as a bank robbing disguise must have had one hell of a speech to convince his buds to follow along."

"Chuck Norris can't get through his steak breakfast without a fifth of whiskey."

"What do you call it when a doctor has sex with a quarantined patient? Sick Fuck."

"Have you heard about that new dating app for serial killers? It's called Skinder"