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Joke of the Day

"Me: Where were you supposed to poop? 2-year-old: The potty. Me: So why didn't you? 2: I'm too busy."

"In my day a hand on my crotch was third base... now even a hand job is a foul ball!"

"My 13 yo niece is ""experimenting with alcohol"" according to my dad. Like she's keeping a ledger of her findings. ""12/21/09: Scotch. Woo!"""

"Hey girl, are you bacteria? Because I know I need you but I have no idea why."

"I want to tell you a scoliosis joke but it's completely out of line."

"For all you non-native English speakers out there... ""Read"" is pronounced like ""lead"", while ""read"" is pronounced like ""lead""."

"Dude: You got a light? Me: Sure. *hand him a flashlight* Dude: I mean for my cigarette. Me: Yeah, he can use it."

"Which side of the chicken has more feathers? The outside"

"What do Mexicans write in school? Essays."

"How do you piss off a historian? Give them a tampon and say what period is this from?"