111894

Joke of the Day

"How do you piss off a historian? Give them a tampon and say what period is this from?"

"It's Christmas and I'm alone (again), Reddit. Tell me something funny Well, I have my dog at least. Fire some shit away!"

"Getting carried away is usually fun, unless it's by a truck."

"What do you call a hotel special that lets policemen stay for two nights for the price of one? CuNO3!"

"Failed my biology test today... They asked, ""What is commonly found in cells?"" Apparently ""black people"" wasn't the correct answer."

"My dvd got a scratch... so i used sandpaper to smooth it out"

"are you the girl who has to type everything said in court? ""yes"" I'm sorry *looks back at prosecutor and answers his question as a dolphin*"

"Apparently, when your boss asks you to get a cake for a coworker's 60th birthday, 'cake' is not code for 'stripper.' Live & learn, guys."

"If an Iron Man movie was made with Magneto as the villain, what would its title be? Stop hitting yourself."

"What happened to the two zombies who went on a date? They had a *Necro*mantic** time."