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Joke of the Day

"[bedtime] brain: hey remember that lost episode where the couple gets paralyzed DO THOSE SPIDERS LIVE NEAR US me: SLEEP brain: NO, GOOGLE IT"

"You're IQ's lower than your shoe size."

"Your mama is so dirty Her crabs have dirt bike races."

"I want to be seen Especially before you slam that door into my face!"

"So a man walks through airport security... Man: Knock knock. AS: Who's there? Man: Alla. AS: Alla who? Man: Alla who akbar."

"why did the boy drop his ice cream he was hit by a bus"

"The Indian version of ""How I Met Your Mother""is just a single episode called ""I Met Her At Our Wedding""."

"Knock knock! (Who's there?) Not Abe Vigoda."

"A coworker told me I was a pedophile and said I probably had a van that said ""Free Candy"" on the side. I told him that would be pointless. My target demographic can't read yet."

"Everybody Knows. No one should have been upset when Whitney Houston died in her bathtub. Everybody knows black people can't swim."