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Joke of the Day

"Got into a car accident with a mobile library before. I'm perfectly fine, but the police really threw the book at me."

"This morning I combed my son's hair sideways and to the front then yelled ""you just got Bieber'd!"" He's not talking to me."

"A toothless termite walks into a bar... and says, ""Is the bar tender here?"""

"What's the best part about getting head from an infant? Watching the soft spot move."

"I told a blonde joke She didn't get it."

"Knock! Knock!"

"What's a seal's favorite drink? Canadian Club on the rocks."

"I had anal sex and my sperm were so confused They tried to fertilize a piece of corn."

"[police show picture of my dead body at bottom of stairs to wife] ""Why no pants on?"" We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell"

"""I think this chlorine is healing my anal fissure."" - Things not to say in a swimming pool. Apparently."