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Joke of the Day

"[police show picture of my dead body at bottom of stairs to wife] ""Why no pants on?"" We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell"

"What do you get when you cross a sheep and a porcupine? Nobody knows, but whatever it is, it knits its own sweaters."

"How many zen buddists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One and not one."

"DESPERATION is exactly what I look for in a woman."

"What's the difference between two dicks and a joke? I can't take a joke."

"Why don't prawns give to charity? Because they're shellfish."

"It's a man's job to respect a woman. But, it's a woman's job to give him something to respect..."

"Its me and my son's birthday next week so were doing a joint party. We've ordered a Tinkerbell cake for him, but she will be topless for me."

"Scooby Doo led me to believe there would be a LOT more abandoned amusement parks and old people pretending to be ghosts. So Disappointed."

"It's not a ""gay"" wedding or a ""straight wedding"" it's a ""waste of money they could have used for a down payment."""