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Joke of the Day
"Sick of tweeting. Switching to faxing. What's everybody's fax numbers?"
Next Joke
"In china, tried Donkey meat yesterday.... It tasted like ass."
"I love watching kids running in the park... They have no idea I'm shooting blanks"
"Whenever I see people doing sign language, I assume they are discussing the best way to murder the rest of us and steal our ears."
"Why don't blind men go skydiving? Because it scares the shit out of the dog!"
"What has eight arms and an IQ of 80? Four girlfriends drinking on St Patricks Day!"
"If you cut off a mommy blogger's head she can continue mommy blogging for up to three full minutes."
"""We run a tight ship"" barked the captain, his shoulders barely getting thru the doorway ""Real tight."" he turns sideways to fit down the hall"
"Folks, I've thought of a way to save 2016: James Corden and a bus full of celebs singing We Are The World, then the bus goes over a cliff"
"8yo Me: *sneaks candy* 14yo Me: *sneaks cigarettes* 18yo Me: *sneaks alcohol* 43yo Me: *sneaks candy* Being an adult is stupid."