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Joke of the Day

"You could've told me that wasn't your real name before I got the tattoo."

"I'm often self-deprecating... But I'm not very good at it."

"I woke up this morning frightened because my penis had turned completely ORANGE! But then I calmed down when I remembered I was eating Cheetos in bed last night."

"Donald Trump said he thinks we made the right decision to leave the EU. This confirms that we absolutely did not make the right decision."

"As a boy, I went to a Catholic School... It was a pain in the ass."

"3 guys walk into a bar... ... the fourth one ducks."

"I was listening to 80s music today. You just can't beat Tina Turner. Unless you're Ike Turner."

"Knock knock, Who's there? Harper Lee (Author of ""To kill a mockingbird"") Harper Lee, who? Harper Lee I can fly...."

"Deeper deeper if we're having sex don't tell me ""deeper deeper"". if I could go deeper I would. you don't see me saying ""tighter""."

"The thought of having my own kids is scary because anyone who's half me and half someone dumb enough to have sex with me is doomed"