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Joke of the Day

"The thought of having my own kids is scary because anyone who's half me and half someone dumb enough to have sex with me is doomed"

"Hey Jude. I ran out of advice, so I'm just going to go nah nah nah nah for the next nine minutes."

"Everyone always pets my pregnant wife's stomach and says 'congratulations' but no one ever rubs my balls and says 'good job'."

"You guys can laugh at my cargo pants all you want, but I just walked out of Taco Bell with 350 sauce packets."

"A Frenchman is buying a bread stick and the cashier asks.. ""are you okay carrying this loaf?"" to which he replies ""baguette""."

"Ever heard of the DNA? National Dyslexic Association."

"Don't bite the hand that feeds you, But don't bite any other hands either because that is how diseases are spread."

"How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2, but God knows how they got in there."

"What happened to the tree after it caught fire? It became entally handicapped"

"Trump obviously has the support of the Freemasons He wants to build a wall, and do you know who gets paid to build walls? **MASONS!**"