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Joke of the Day

"Her: I like smart guys Me [eats soup with a fork & pretends I understood Interstellar]: thats what happens if u get stuck behind a bookcase"

"Bae: come over Me: do you have food? Bae: my parents aren't home Me: Are they gonna come back with food?"

"Goodnight sweet prince"

"What's a Mexican's favourite letter? C. LOL! I heard this at work today, top fucking bantz!"

"Tits man or arse man? ""Tits man or arse man?"" I was asked. I really should have got in there earlier when they were giving out super hero names."

"What do You Call Someone Who Self Harms In The Antarctica? An eskemo....."

"Why did the sick eagle get deported? Because he was an illeagle."

"I want my tombstone to just say ""You should see the other guy"" on it"

"If the Pilgrims were alive today what would they be famous for? Their age!"

"Great Britain has left the EU Now they have a GB of free space"