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Joke of the Day
"What do you call Hitler underwater? Adolfin."
Next Joke
"Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold until your battery is dead."
"Why are pirates angry after leaving the bathroom? Because after ""p"" comes ""irate"""
"Two dogs are arguing And one of them says ""Well your mom's a bitch!"""
"When I die, before my will is read, I want my entire Google search history revealed and whoever is left in the room gets it all."
"""i'm not even that high."" -me talking to the microwave"
"Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence because if she doesn't have that, then she's mine."
"*at lawyer's office* Me: I want to divorce my idiot wife, she's seeing a surgeon *idiot wife pops out from under desk* that's so not true!"
"I don't think none of Christopher Nolan's ex girlfriends know how the hell it ended."
"My girlfriend is a keeper. She's perfect, but I never score."