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Joke of the Day

"Why are pirates angry after leaving the bathroom? Because after ""p"" comes ""irate"""

"How do you stop a rhino from charging? Take away his credit cards. I'll let myself out..."

"Marathon runner: I think we're lost. Why does that sign say Grand Canyon? Are you sure this is the right way? Lemming: Just trust me, ok?"

"When our solar system was formed, the Sun was in charge... So the planets started a revolution."

"I was really hesitant about this new haircut at first.... ...but I'm starting to like it you know. It's really growing on me. Sorry I'll leave now."

"What is the KKK's favourite football (soccer) club? Blackburn"

"Must be nice to get married and finally know who the number one suspect in your murder case will be"

"I wish I'd get as emotional about politics as I do about a chip breaking off in the dip."

"Damn girl, are you today's date? Because you are 10/10"

"me: I bet other husbands don't get put in timeout! wife: I bet they don't put their mother-in-law's phone number on a Craigslist ad either!"