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Joke of the Day
"I just got a papercut... we'll just see if I recycle this week... stupid cunt tree."
Next Joke
"I just had a pervert audition to be the singer in my Paul Simon tribute band He sang ""50 ways to love your lever"""
"I removed Sean Connery's limbs & replaced them with Daniel Craig's arms & Pierce Brosnan's legs. They formed an unlikely Bond."
"Sign over the urinal in Dad's favorite bar We keep this restroom clean because we aim to please ... so, you aim too, please."
"Ironically, seeing a picture of you flashing a peace sign makes me want to violently end your life."
"Take 1/5th the $ car insurance companies spend on advertising, apply it to health care, and everyone can have golden organs and never die."
"Why don't Middle Eastern dogs bite as often? Because they Muslim."
"I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller."
"How do you order a glass of water in Russia? Ask for a virgin vodka."
"Claiming that someone else's marriage is against your religion is like being angry at someone for eating a donut because you're on a diet."