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Joke of the Day

"Why don't Middle Eastern dogs bite as often? Because they Muslim."

"What was the problem with the midget prostitute? She was always selling herself short."

"I like watching horror films hiding behind he sofa That way, my neighbors don't know I'm there Credit to Jim Carr"

"You remind me of my appendix... You remind me of my appendix. I have no idea what you do, but I'd love to take you out."

"Just saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn't it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?"

"Why did the UN outlaw diet pills? Because they're weapons of mass destruction."

"5: Daddy, can we go get ice cream? Me: I don't see why not. 5: Mommy said I couldn't. M: Hey, there's the why not."

"If your lawyer has a ponytail you're going to prison."

"How do you keep a black person from drowning? You don't"

"I went to my favorite Indian restaurant today. Got the footlong turkey on wheat."