212897

Joke of the Day

"I just had a pervert audition to be the singer in my Paul Simon tribute band He sang ""50 ways to love your lever"""

"""Hey, your fly's down"" Oh shit.. *pets fly's head* you'll be alright little buddy, chin up.. we'll get you some new wings"

"If you only speak one language you have no excuse to suck at it."

"Why is the space between a women's tits and hips called a waist? They could easily fit another set of tits in there."

"Why couldn't the penguin turn around in the phone booth? Because he had a javelin through his head."

"*has no girlfriend or kids* *gives out dating and parenting advice*"

"I thought I'd repost an old joke... Oops wrong sub..."

"What do you call a happy prosecutor? Smiles Edgeworth."

"Best Depiction of a Dystopian Past or Future Full of Really Attractive People #NewOscarCategories"

"Rant ""What do we want!?"" ""No daylight savings!"" ""When do we want it!?"" ""An hour ago!!!"""