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Joke of the Day

"Mmmh, the wetness...don't stop, harder, oh god yes, more fingers...I love the way you rub my head. --me, getting a shampoo at the salon"

"What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles..."

"How many moderators does it take to change a lightbulb? [deleted]"

"Look you asked me to be your child's Godfather so don't get pissed at me because I taught him how to break knees and collect debts."

"If Donald Trump enacts a law saying baby strollers cannot be more than twice the width of the babies in them, I will vote for him in 2020."

"I can't find a joke that was on here today now I'll have to wait a few minutes until it's posted again."

"Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties? Because there is lots of school spirit!"

"There is nothing more enjoyable than watching a child being chased by a seagull."

"My friend said she's had kidney problems since she was 7 I told her it's fine cause once she turns 18 she'll get adult knees"

"Yesterday was a unique day: half the US voters made the wrong choice. The other half did, too."