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Joke of the Day

"Mmmh, the wetness...don't stop, harder, oh god yes, more fingers...I love the way you rub my head. --me, getting a shampoo at the salon"

"How do Jewish kids learn to count? 10% off, 20% off, 30% off"

"Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar Schrodinger's cat walks out of a bar"

"Two tomatoes cross the road and one of them gets hit by a car. The other one looks back and yells ""C'mon, ketchup!"""

"I'm really good in bed.....I stay on my side and rarely steal all the covers."

"A man's bread shop burnt down Now his business is toast."

"When I have more than $20 in my account at the end of the month I have to wonder what bill I forgot to pay."

"While getting ready to leave on trip, I was trying to get my wife to hurry up. She says ""Why are you rushin'?"" Too which I replied ""Because my grandpa is from Moscow."" Duh.."

"What is the difference between a priest and a pimple? A pimple waits until your 12 to come on your face"

"I'm tired of being dissed by automated restroom paper towel dispensers."