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Joke of the Day

"Finally watching Michael Bay's TMNT. Best part so far is a dude answering a Skype call and yelling ""How did you get this number?!?"""

"How did Kim Kardashian break the net? She sat on it."

"""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Pizza"" ""My new boyfriend who? ""No. Pizza"" ""My future husband who?"" ""No."" ""Playing hard to get who?"""

"What's hard and pink? A pig with a flick knife."

"""You think only God can judge you?"" *Judge Judy spins around in chair to face you* ""Well THINK AGAIN!"" *bangs gavel so hard it breaks*"

"*guy struggling to pick his teeth with a toothpick* Narrator: Don't you wish there were a better way? -commercial for business cards"

"Why did the Republican get a sunburn? Because the sunscreen instructed to apply liberally and he was unwilling to compromise."

"What did one window say to the other window? I'm in pane"

"Grease (1978, musical) A highschool girl wins happiness and the acceptance of her peers by changing who she is and taking up smoking."

"What do you call a candelabra that refuses to hold candles? A candle-nah-brah"