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Joke of the Day
"I hate every child in a commercial."
Next Joke
"Hillary: if we aren't careful donald trump could be our next president. Let that sink in Clinton Aide: *opens door* Sink: sorry i'm late"
"I like my beer the way I like my violence. Domestic."
"What is amnesia? Is it: A) memory loss A) memory loss Or 3) The Battle of Hastings"
"Why was the pianist so depressed? Because they weren't good at Chopin."
"I love my FedEx guy cause he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it and he's always on time."
"Who Killed Cap'n Crunch ? A serial killer."
"What do a priest and McDonald's have in common?... [NSFW] Both stick their meat in 10 year old buns."
"DATE: *sighs* You said you were a professional body builder. ME: I am! I make prosthetics. Ha ha! And funny jokes! Wait where are you going?"
"When is a door not a door? How the hell is ajar supposed to work with this? Adoor and ajar? 'Cuse me?"