179744

Joke of the Day

"Hillary: if we aren't careful donald trump could be our next president. Let that sink in Clinton Aide: *opens door* Sink: sorry i'm late"

"I'm a very old fashioned kind of guy (i'll kill you and steal your spices)"

"Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil and paper."

"What do you call a blind dinosaur? A Doyouthinkhesawus"

"The worst birthday present I ever got... ...was from my grandma when i turned 5. She gave me three socks. When asked why, she responded ""because your mom said you grew a foot."""

"I've been friends with my recliner the longest. We go way back."

"I went to the zoo. So I went to the zoo last week. It was such a bad experience. I paid 20 bucks and there was only 1 animal there. A dog. It was a shit zoo."

"I'm scared to open any email with a photo attachment because of all this talk about photobombing."

"Why you never mess with imported ants? Because they are **important**."

"So it looks like Donald Trump does have a big dick, Especially when he holds it with those tiny hands."