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Joke of the Day

"The doctor said I have only a month to live so I shot him. the judge gave me 50 years"

"A Texan says to a Harvard student... Texan: where are ya from? Harvard Student: well, where *i'm* from, we don't end sentences with prepositions. Texan: oh, alright. where are ya from, jackass?"

"the idiots at NASA just hit Jupiter with one of their fireworks"

"Twitter is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do and takes you nowhere"

"MFW I'm bread and I have to remind people to put the twist tie back on the packaging Fuck I mold"

"We could clothe the needy with all the extra fabric black dudes wear."

"You should never use the word ""nutsacky"" when describing how a newborn baby feels."

"How do you put a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender first How do you get it out? Tortilla chips"

"This DLC is getting out of hand... The DVLA want me to pay 60 to add three points to my driving license, because I beat my high score!"

"Two boys were watching TV when the fabulous face and figure of Pamela Anderson appeared on the screen. ""if I ever stop hating girls"" said one to the other ""I think I'll stop hating her first."""