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Joke of the Day

"How do you put a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender first How do you get it out? Tortilla chips"

"The only time I hate being single is when I knock something over & catch it before it hits the ground but there's no one around to see it."

"My Executive Director said to me ""Well aren't you an eager beaver"" I was like ""Oh my God, Why? What have you heard???"""

"""You are what you eat"", said the cannibal."

"COP: The killer wrote a message on the victim's mirror ME: You can't prove it was me COP: It was written in Dorito dust ME: I want a lawyer"

"My computer has a virus. It's called the common cold. It makes your computer freeze up."

"""OH NO PYTHON whew just my nose. OH NO COBRA nope still my nose. OH NO RATTLESNAKE shit, nose. God I can't live like this."" -Elephant"

"Q: Why did the farmer make a high-pitched gasp? A: Because he was tired of the sigh-low."

"Chuck Norris joke cause it's been a long time. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise."

"News flash: Chapters truck caught speeding Police reported, ""It was really booking it!"""