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Joke of the Day
"I was going to tell a dick joke... But now I can't seem to 'member it."
Next Joke
"Olive Garden waitress begins to freshly grate cheese onto my salad. I never say when. Room fills with parmesan. No one survives."
"What's a martini's favorite garnish? Olive 'em!"
"My girlfriend is like a motorcycle I dont have a motorcycle"
"I took a bite out of a vegetable the other day... The nurse was pissed"
"If you want to understand who loves you more, your wife or your dog, lock them both on the balcony After three hours unlock them and see who's happier to see you"
"My hammer is alot like my dick... About 20 years old and hooks slightly to the left"
"[Every restaurant ever] Manager: ""Has he got a mouthful of food?"" Waiter: ""Yes."" Manager: ""Go and ask him how his meal is."""
"Whenever someone tells me they like country music, I just look them in the eyes and ask ""which country?"""
"My girlfriend told me I was average... .. but I think she was just being mean..."