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Joke of the Day
"My hammer is alot like my dick... About 20 years old and hooks slightly to the left"
Next Joke
"My parents just said they want another child. ""I'd love a sibling!"" I said. ""That's not what we meant."" they replied."
"Scientists at the Federal Helium Reserve indicate they're storing a billion cubic meters of helium gas. It's a lot funnier when they say it."
"Is it wrong that, whenever I see an obese black family, there's a part of me that wonders if all of them are Eddie Murphy?"
"I wonder if the earth ever looks at the 2016 election and thinks about hurling itself into the sun."
"What's the worst way to convince an officer who's pulled you over not to ticket you? ""You can have my beer if you let me go."""
"INFORMER!!! Younosaydahdfrxqpgirnmekdmhgjwrztnhyenixblaamm... A LICKY BOOM BOOM DOWN!"
"Did you hear about the guy who lost his left leg and arm in a car crash? He's all right now."
"Before the Internet, I guess I just assumed all my friends knew how to spell ""definitely."""
"Me? Yes, of course I have feelings! Last Sunday, for example, I dropped a piece of bacon on the floor. I just stared and cried for 18 mins"