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Joke of the Day

"Olive Garden waitress begins to freshly grate cheese onto my salad. I never say when. Room fills with parmesan. No one survives."

"Why did the prostitute get a vagina implanted in her hip? She wanted to make some money on the side."

"Many women say a guy who makes them laugh is all they want. They fail to mention all the things it takes to put them in the mood to laugh."

"He sees you when you're sleeping,he knows when you're awake A date with Bill Cosby"

"Sometimes my memory is not quite as good as my forgettery."

"Armless Alice Q. Why did Alice fall off the swing? A. Because she has no arms. Q. Knock knock? *who's there?* A. Not Alice..."

"What is a priest's favorite guitar chord? Gsus"

"Did you hear about the raisin that slept with another raisin's wife? No? You're obviously not up to date with currant affairs."

"I'm long, brown, and I love bowls. Jimi Hendrix."

"My boss is currently shopping for quarter million dollar homes. Meanwhile, I'm over here deciding if I really need to spend $2 on lunch."